you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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