All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
