her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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