we're blogging at a bar
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
