just come out here and I will go home with you...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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