I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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