We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
