Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
