Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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