white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
