I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
