I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
