So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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