Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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