shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
