You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize