Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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