I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
