Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize