Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
