drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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