my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
