it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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