It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
