She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
