I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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