That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize