we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
