Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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