me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize