there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
