Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
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