its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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