He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
