it hurts more in the daytime
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
