I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize