It's Friday. Sex?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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