There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
