Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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