you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Pants are for mortals
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
