I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
