Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
