Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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