A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
