you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
