Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
cat food counts as protein by the way
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
