Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
