the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
