You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
