it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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