Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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