We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
