ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
