Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
