Porn is love you can see.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
