I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
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