ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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