we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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